Friday, June 19, 2009

Query, Hubris, and Humility

I sent two query emails to two separate agents. Then I said to myself, "Now just sit back and wait 'til the rejections come in. Then you'll be a real writer." :p

Then I got a reply from one of them. My heart practically beat itself right out of my chest. Visions of an ecstatic agent flashed before my eyes eager to read my ms.

I clicked on it and guess what. Just a form note sent automatically saying she can't wait to read it and she may or may not get back to me within six weeks.

Plunk! My heart dropped to my knees.
Guess I have a bit of hubris on my nose that needs scraping off.

So, I decided it's time to read the Litany of Humility .


randy said...

Be careful what you pray for. If your wish is granted you will gain peace and contentment but aren't you also asking to lose the desire to be a published artist.

That brings up the question, what is it that you really want from your art? Would it be enough that you were the only beholder of it? If not, why not? Is it possible that what you really want is to be heard? If so, by whom? Or maybe the more important question is, who is it that isn't hearing you?

The amateur psychologist in me thinks he knows.

randy said...

Oh yeah, I was wondering if you guys availed yourself of that hill. Every time I go over there and see it I think, "Boy, that looks like it would make great therapy". When one is out of sorts it's amazing how good a little exercise, especially in nature, can set you straight. You can understand why Peter likes his bikes so much.

A Fortnight of Mustard said...

We love living right by the ridge and by Pine Creek. It's the main reason we picked this house.

I'd love to lose the desire to be published. I'd love to lose the desire to write. The desire to cook and clean would be more practical and would make Peter a lot happier. LOL

I love to write. I love people to read my writing. I don't, however, want fame. The thought of going on a book tour or being interviewed makes me queasy. I get queasy worrying it won't get published and also queasy worrying that it will.

Why do I want to be heard... That's a great question. When somebody reads my stories, I get the same feeling as when I find out somebody else likes a song I like or a book or movie I like. It's more of a sharing of something I think is neato, but it's more personal because I made it. I write to share the stories in my head. If I didn't want to share them, they could just stay safely tucked away in my skull. It's like baking a favorite cookie recipe to share with others.

I liked writing for because everybody's writing and reading, sharing stories and characters they like, and it's low pressure. Nobody expects anybody to write like a pro. It's also anonymous. Nobody is there for fame or money. It was just fun. No queasiness! :)

Writing to be published means you need specific people to like what you write, otherwise your work is trapped and nobody but your critique groups reads it and most of them are reading with an eye on helping you get it published. It's no longer simple pure enjoyment.

But if I do get published, then Peter won't think I'm a complete twit lost in a world of fantasy. For some reason, if it's published, it's made legitimate. Well, if he ever does read it, he'll probably still think I'm a twit whether or not it's published. He is already talking about how to spend the money he thinks I'll make. I haven't the heart to tell him that most writers barely make ends meet let alone become rich.

randy said...

I tried to post this yesterday but forgot to sign in first and lost it. Doesn't it feel life-sucking to have something you've written disappear into ether?

Anyway, like I told you before, Peter speaks highly of you behind your back. After so often I hearing bad-mouthing by others it's quite refreshing to hear for a change. When you're so close it's easy to take each other for granted especially when you have the daily grind to contend with. I don't think it's so much taking for granted as it is being secure with each other. With security comes the ability to relax. Sometime we (guys especially) get too relaxed. That's why I think it's a good idea to have little spats now and then to stress the relationship and make it stronger. There's nothing like the threat of losing something to make you realize how important it is to you. I strongly suspect Peter would be devastated without you (regardless of you being published or not) .

I just noticed the Tolkien quote. It's a good one. I guess the lesson from that is to be careful of the environment you create for yourself because it can change who you are.

A Fortnight of Mustard said...

Definitely life-sucking. That's the problem with computers. I love paper. :)

I agree with the little spats. Then you can have the fun of making up! :p

oh, yeah, good Tolkien quote. I think it's a reminder to behave like the soulmate of your spouse's dreams.

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